well i havent wrote in here in awhile. shit, what can I say, life is hectic. but when i haven't wrote in a while, I do have more to tell. But one thing that I have been thinking about today. the past. I was thinking about how much since the past and now that i have changed and i can say that is a WHOLE LOT. I have grown up so much people can honestly say that I have changed whether if its for the worst or the better in their opinion. and I was also thinking about people I use to associate myself with. in all honesty, I can say that I miss a good fourth of people i use to fuck with and the memories associated with the fourth, however i guess that is why they are in the past.
employment. in society; Las Vegas's unemployment rate is 10%. That number seems small, however when you do the math it is BIG. and keep in mind, everyone knows someone who is unemployed. but i am one of the fortunate ones that has a job and a good one as well. but when do you say enough is enough? i will and stand up beside when i say that i work for the worst company in the USA. and i speak for over half of the employees at my job. my job has the benefit of the CEO working in the same building as is overseeing us, however in the sake of our company, that benefit is a CURSE. i am the youngest worker there at the fresh age of 18 and I feel i have more sense then half them muthafuckas out there. remember when you watch movies, or heard stories of management and bosses at BIG corporations that treat their employees like shit? walking all over them and cussing them out? and you would say uhuh that would not be me? well I am living in the nightmare. at times i come home from my job in tears because of the frustration and stress that job gives. my body represents my age of 18, however my mindframed is stretched all the way out to a crackhead that is 60 something yrs old. and the lingering threat of unemployment. the fear that you can be fired at any moment. in a year my job's turnover is 400 employees in a year. plus, my job will fight you all the way to court not to provide unemployment. i can honestly say I attempted to walk away from it all, however for some reason God wants me there. so when do you say enough is enough? It becomes tiresome fighting for you pride each and everyday,
relationships. how do you become a better wife? in my situation i can admit and say i am married. me and him are together 24/7, and even look over my son together, and when times are hard combine our own together for each of us to make it. but sometimes I feel asif on my part I am insufficient. i believe that it is due to my lack of self esteem however I cant help but to feel that way. my baby, he assures me everyday he loves me i am not pushing him away, he feels the same.. but why do i continue to believe that my own self is not giving the 50% required to make it work?
family. shit sucks. muthafuckas do not know how to act. fucking unappreciated ass pricks. i still stand family is NOT SHIT. family are strangers that are related that does you in faster than strangers. i stand for the ones I LOVE. not my relatives.
well, my brain is in overload. i have a lot balled up inside that even letting it out is becoming is overwhelming.
