so I have figured out that my life is so damn hectic during the week. I have no time outisde of work, school, and motherhood. So I have decided to make the weekly blogs. my lessons learned during the week.. so I wont have to cram my thoughts out on a daily basis.
this week has been a bit better than most. i finally went out and acted my age for once, which i have noticed doesnt work. lol. i would rather sit at home with my kid and watch madagascar all day then go to a party and get coniving looks from little girls and worry about getting a bullet getting put up my ass. i can admit i did have fun, but was relieved when i went to bed. that was my excitement for the month.
i feel a little better about work. work is getting a bit better because i have been a lot more vocal lately. i dont take much shit anymore. a lot of people have noticed a BIG change in me and i can admit i have changed a lot. honestly i can be a bitch at times, but i still have a soft side. i guess i finally got tired of being taken advantage of. people said i would snap one day.. i guess i did.
im looking forward to expierence a part of life that was missing for so long. i believe in may i will be adventuring and partaking on a new journey. i am overjoyed. it is a blessing to be able to have found a part of me. well multiple parts of me. lol, i believe i am getting on everyone nerves because i love talking about it. all i can really say is that i thank god for it all. and my love does take some credit.. god gave him the sign to give me the motivation to do it.
another thing that i have learned this week is that i am so damned greatful. love is a beautiful thing and can also breed pain.. however the love i have now brings tears, but tears of emotion and joy. the love i have refuses to bring me pain, it overworks to keep smiles on my face and stress off my back, and every weekend that i solely spend with that love, i learn more and more. im happy, no i am not happy. i have no words to explain how this love makes me feel. its unconditional. something that i have always given but never received. and i am happy to finally receive what i've been giving all these years.
now for another week. but the good thing is i am optimistic. it'll go fast. plus i am chasing paper. i cant STAND standSTILL money, that shit comes with consequences, and having a clear conscience is all that matters.
3/29/09
3/24/09
another day.
Sometimes you have a day that seems useless. Something just happened to where it makes the whole day dark and nonexistant. That was a day I had today. So what is the only thing you're able to write about your day when you have a day like that? Not a damn thing. But one thing I can say, I can't understand what makes people do what they do.
3/23/09
mood: content for the night.
sometimes you wait a lifetime for something so small.
today, I accomplished something that some takes for granted everyday. I spoke with someone that I waited my whole life to speak with. Someone that is apart of me that had been missing out of my life , my whole life. And I am only ecstatic that I was able to do so. It warmed my heart as well as my soul to know that that "someone" was thinking me me, just as much as I was thinking of them. It was a great feeling, as well as it opened up a door of endless possibilities and journeys I have yet to partake in. =)
I also had to let go of someone as well. This someone is suppose to be a big part of your life, however, it seems as if they only played a small part. How I think and feel will go against my morals if I were to continue to allow this person to maintain a place in my life. It would only encourage my self destruction. That is something that I must stay away from. I am not cold hearted, I am far away from it, however I am immune to minimal devastations in life that people may think is major. I love hard, however I can let go easily. It is all a part of growing up and learning. Just because we are set in our ways and think what we do is right, it doesn't mean that the things we do are always right. A part of life that is unavoidable are mistakes, so instead of being overly cautious and running awake from them, we should embrace them. Because a mistake done, and a lesson learned could save you in a later situation.
Im in for the night. I have had a good day as my son and David always makes my days worthwhile. I love you guys.
today, I accomplished something that some takes for granted everyday. I spoke with someone that I waited my whole life to speak with. Someone that is apart of me that had been missing out of my life , my whole life. And I am only ecstatic that I was able to do so. It warmed my heart as well as my soul to know that that "someone" was thinking me me, just as much as I was thinking of them. It was a great feeling, as well as it opened up a door of endless possibilities and journeys I have yet to partake in. =)
I also had to let go of someone as well. This someone is suppose to be a big part of your life, however, it seems as if they only played a small part. How I think and feel will go against my morals if I were to continue to allow this person to maintain a place in my life. It would only encourage my self destruction. That is something that I must stay away from. I am not cold hearted, I am far away from it, however I am immune to minimal devastations in life that people may think is major. I love hard, however I can let go easily. It is all a part of growing up and learning. Just because we are set in our ways and think what we do is right, it doesn't mean that the things we do are always right. A part of life that is unavoidable are mistakes, so instead of being overly cautious and running awake from them, we should embrace them. Because a mistake done, and a lesson learned could save you in a later situation.
Im in for the night. I have had a good day as my son and David always makes my days worthwhile. I love you guys.
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