week 1.

so I have figured out that my life is so damn hectic during the week. I have no time outisde of work, school, and motherhood. So I have decided to make the weekly blogs. my lessons learned during the week.. so I wont have to cram my thoughts out on a daily basis.

this week has been a bit better than most. i finally went out and acted my age for once, which i have noticed doesnt work. lol. i would rather sit at home with my kid and watch madagascar all day then go to a party and get coniving looks from little girls and worry about getting a bullet getting put up my ass. i can admit i did have fun, but was relieved when i went to bed. that was my excitement for the month.

i feel a little better about work. work is getting a bit better because i have been a lot more vocal lately. i dont take much shit anymore. a lot of people have noticed a BIG change in me and i can admit i have changed a lot. honestly i can be a bitch at times, but i still have a soft side. i guess i finally got tired of being taken advantage of. people said i would snap one day.. i guess i did.

im looking forward to expierence a part of life that was missing for so long. i believe in may i will be adventuring and partaking on a new journey. i am overjoyed. it is a blessing to be able to have found a part of me. well multiple parts of me. lol, i believe i am getting on everyone nerves because i love talking about it. all i can really say is that i thank god for it all. and my love does take some credit.. god gave him the sign to give me the motivation to do it.

another thing that i have learned this week is that i am so damned greatful. love is a beautiful thing and can also breed pain.. however the love i have now brings tears, but tears of emotion and joy. the love i have refuses to bring me pain, it overworks to keep smiles on my face and stress off my back, and every weekend that i solely spend with that love, i learn more and more. im happy, no i am not happy. i have no words to explain how this love makes me feel. its unconditional. something that i have always given but never received. and i am happy to finally receive what i've been giving all these years.

now for another week. but the good thing is i am optimistic. it'll go fast. plus i am chasing paper. i cant STAND standSTILL money, that shit comes with consequences, and having a clear conscience is all that matters.