2 PEOPLE in History at Red Lobster.

If you could have dinner with any 2 persons whether from past or present, who would it be and why?

My co-worker Jamie asked me this question yesterday and I really put some thought into it. It was an off spasm answer; however, I really have reason behind it. I would honestly have lunch with Adolph Hitler and Malcolm X. No, I am NOT nuts. Just listen to my reasoning:

Adolph Hitler – he targeted Jews in a genocide known as the Holocaust. People view him as Satan himself, which I agree. My personal opinion of him is that he was the scum bag of the earth. He was evil. And that he is now feeling the wrath of his work in hell. BUT I want to know why. Why? What made you do that to 17 million innocent civilians? What made you torture them the way you did? Why did you hate them? I REALLY want to know. What inspired you to build concentration camps and gas chambers just to create death? Plus I want to conversate with him about what is going on nowadays and get his view of what’s going on in the earth. Do you think he would suggest genocide of another race?

Malcolm X aka Malcolm Little – African American Muslim minister, public speaker, and human rights activist. He fought hard for equal rights. He wanted to see a brighter future for blacks and any discriminated races alike. I have read his book and can figure out why he, or why would anyone want to be treated equal. We are all Gods children and were created equal.. So we shall be equal. I just want to talk to him and show him what a difference he made. WE HAVE A BLACK PRESIDENT. That would bring a smile to anyone’s face that experienced slavery or discrimination. I want to talk to him about the way things are today as well. I want to know his insight. What is wrong with these people? What does he think the outcome will be? PLUS. I want him and Hitler to talk. I want to know how he feels about what Hitler did.

Super random I know. Hitler would probably run as fast as he could if he saw 2 “niggers” awaiting his presence. LOL. If only.

seasons & lifetimes.

people come and they go throughout your life. people are meant to be in your life for a season or lifetime, that is how the saying goes right? And those people who are their for a season were their to teach you something. whether if it is not to be so naive, or be so non-trusting, etc etc. When I was in school i thought friendship lasted forever. well, your CLOSE friends. ya know your best friends for life, your "sisters", your bitches etc etc. then it seems as the years passed your truest friends dropped like flies. they you are confused about the concept of friendship and trust. its like the feeling of a large boulder suddenly being dropped on your heart. then you become lonely.. i mean your TRUEST CLOSEST SISTER just effing dissed you, you think i will trust anyone? yes it is like that. you push everyone else away until you start to yearn for closeness. then you open yourself back up.. with restrictions of course. then something else goes wrong and you shut yourself out once again. i have been shut out for awhile. like an insect being trapped in its cocoon and unable to break free. its almost impossible to trust. and it seems like everywhere i turn my heart is broken. a few years ago i was having a conversation with my cousin and she asked me "Who do you think you will still be friends with when school is done and over with?" I named a few people, and ironically i am no longer friend with those individuals. for reasons known and unknown. but when i look back, everyone of those bitches taught me something. they made me wiser, more realistic, and very distrusting person. i was never the one to end a friendship. it just isn't me. well relapse, i use to never be the one to end the friendship. i ended ONE and in the end i found out that SHE was a true friend. i remember sitting in a car listening to "friends" having the audacity to tell me that THEY were my true friends. THEY will never do anything to hurt me. THEY will always be there. SHE was not a true friend. like an idiot i believe them. i trusted them. i poured my heart and feelings into them. ironically that was less then a year ago. THEY went and formed their own friendship, THEY are planning to move on with their lives, THEY are their for one another but rarely keep in touch with me. their reasons are because everyone is doing their own thing and they dont want to interfere. translation: we grew out of our friendship with you and formed our own. and in my times of loneliness the friend i dissed is still here for me. still best friends. still there. i may sound dramatic, but my emotions run deep. i have no "layers" or "surfaces". you cut me once it'll never happen again. its gets to the point i have to fight the feeling of making that individual feel the hurt of breaking my heart. make those hoes feel how it feels to be hurt, ya know? i had got to the point of being unforgiving. BUT.. i got passed all the hurt, the relentlessness, the revenge. it takes a lot of energy to hold grudges and feel hurt all the time. the shit is like a domino affect. shit, i feel i always did a lot for my friends and the ones i use to call "sisters". i poured my heart out to them. i even made one the godmother of my child entrusting her with my son's life. shit hurts.. a lot. but we live and we learn. at 19, i feel i have come to the realization of what that saying means. "people are in your life for a season or a lifetime". as much as the pain still lingers, i thank the individuals that were in my life for that season. i am who i am because of you. and i wish success and properity to those that were seasonal in my life. but most importantly i thank the ones who will be in my life for a lifetime, all of you are unknown to me as of now.. but i will find out as soon as the lord above makes it known.